


Night Swim

by DarthWriter



Category: The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Mob, Bittersweet Ending, Explicit Sexual Content, Forbidden Love, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-12
Updated: 2020-01-12
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:50:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21837763
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DarthWriter/pseuds/DarthWriter
Summary: Steve is a cop. Tony is the son of a mobster. They meet for a night swim.Based on the lyrics of the song "Night Swim" by Josef Salvat.
Relationships: Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Comments: 8
Kudos: 80





	Night Swim

**Author's Note:**

> Because I'm listening to an old playlist and rediscovered "Night Swim" by Josef Salvat. Because I'm remembering why I loved this song. Because I really need a break from my other work. Because I've lost my inspiration. :'(  
> Because when I listen to that song I think of them...

**"Night Swim"**  
  
_Take off your clothes_  
_The water is warm_  
_I wanna take you for a night swim_  
_Believe what you want_  
_But there's no one around_  
_Don't play games, just get in_  
_Oh, I spend all my money on this view_  
_So I could be alone at last with you_  
  
_Dig your nails into my back_  
_No, you can't know what this means_  
_You're used to getting everything you want_  
_But you're the only thing that's come my way for free_  
_Whisper words into my ears, will you?_  
_As we dissolve into the breeze_  
_You're taking me back to the start_  
_With you I forget who I've been, I'm clean_  
  
_I know that it's late but wait_  
_Wait, I'll drive you home_  
_Just stay a little longer and swim_  
_With me in the rooftop pool_  
  
_Happiness hides_  
_Its bite 'til the end_  
_It never lasts forever_  
_And sometimes I think_  
_I'd be better off_  
_Out of this city altogether_  
_Still I spend all my money on this view_  
_'Cause none of that shit matters up here with you_  
  
_Swim, swim, swim_  
_Hold on to me_  
_Swim, swim, swim_  
_(I'd like to drown with you)_  
  


He was imposing and noble, staring at the horizon, searching for answers in the dark of the night, his tall silhouette standing still on the edge, facing the city that never sleeps.

Everything seemed so peaceful, despite the agitation below. It was very solemn, this moment. Around them the noise was deafening and yet Tony didn't even hear it. It was only them, alone in the dark, under the stars that you couldn't see through the smog. It was only them, the two go them, on that roof, lost in time and space.

Steve's hand laid loosely on his hip and one could see a glimpse of his gun attached on his lower back. The detail made Tony shaky. It both testified of Steve's trust and wariness and it was both unsettling and arousing at the same time. The tall blond had his back turned, serene but alert, and Tony could barely see the expression on his face but even if he would recognize it anywhere. The man was stern and focused, something perhaps grander and melancholic pooling in the blue of his eyes. Tony didn't really see the color from where he was standing, but he knew those eyes perfectly and all the shades in them.

He felt his heart clench at the sight.

He straightened his suit and walked to him confidently. He had wanted to catch him by surprise and grab him from behind but Officer Rogers sensed his presence long before he could reach him.

The man swiveled around slowly, splendidly, and stared at Tony sidelong with his characteristic frown, hands hanging on his hips. His brown leather jacket opened on his plaid shirt, his jeans just tight enough to see his amazing package but still large and a little loose to keep some mystery. Tony hadn't meant to look at this particular place first thing but he found that his eyes were drawn to it like a magnet and despite all his good intentions, he couldn't help objectifying him. He was craving for that man and even though he knew very well what was offered underneath that pair of jeans, he still felt a light jolt of electricity running through his body and shivered when the deep blue eyes scanned him from head to toe. 

"Mr Stark." Steve said with a sight nod. 

The voice was low and deep and resonated deeply inside of Tony. The tone sounded annoyed, although he doubted Steve was really bothered. Maybe he really was, Tony was good at a lot of things but deciphering Officer Steve Rogers's thoughts wasn't one of them.

"So much formalities, for someone who's had their dick in my ass so many times."

An adorable, although almost imperceptible, blush started creeping on the blond's face but his expression remained stern and his frown deepened. This time Tony was sure there was some sort of irritation in that look, and perhaps something else as too.

"Why did you call me up here for?" The man grumbled, the deep sound of his voice a sweet warmth pooling in Tony's stomach. 

Tony chuckled.

The frown turned into a confused stare, with a glimpse of sorrow in those inexorable blue eyes. 

"For the view, of course." Tony replied hurriedly, walking closer to the man and flashing him a smile, drawn to him like a magnet. "What do you think, Officer?"

_"Detective."_

"I'll call you Officer if I like."

"Stop playing games, Stark." The tall man snapped, the frown deeply inlaid on his forehead. "I thought you had something to tell me about the case..."

"And you believed me?" Tony snarked, staring at him intensely. He was only a few inches away from him now and all he wanted to do was throw himself at him, but he wouldn't do that, of course. He had his dignity. Besides, they had had this conversation already, about their age difference. Tony wouldn't show him his childish pulsions tonight, he would show him the man he had become.

The blue eyes burnt with something heart-wrenching and enticing at the same time. 

"No, you didn't." Tony said with a proud-ish smirk he couldn't stop from spreading on his face. It wasn't a happy smile. He was everything but happy right now. He wasn't even amused. The smile spread anyway. He was always nervous around the man, even if he had learnt to hide it well. He pretended. He played the annoying brat or the overconfident thug, but the truth was, Steve had always had a deep impression on him and even now, after so many nights spent entangled together, Tony still felt unsettled. 

Steve had the decency—or the cowardice—to look away. Maybe it was just the decency after all, because now he was staring right back at him, straight into his eyes. No anger anymore, but a profound and intense forlorn shine in them. 

Tony had lost his bravado and shivered as the man's voice so tenderly muttered a soft and caring _"Tony.._. _"_

"I'm not playing games." He choked out, voice raspy, and stepped closer into the man's personal space. The detective didn't let him get too close though and he stepped back, holding his hands up protectively. Tony's heart skipped in his chest. For a second he had thought the detective's strong hand would grab his neck and press it. He had no idea how that thought had crossed his mind—Steve would never purposely hurt him—but the uncertainty between them was nerve-racking. Steve might need to protect himself however and now matter how things might or might not be between them, the fact was, they were a threat to each other and they would never be able to trust each other, not completely, and a mixed feeling, partly fear, partly arousal, came over him.

Except the hand never reached Tony's neck, instead it brushed the skin of his cheek with cold and rough knuckles, making Tony gasp and shiver.

He felt like a small boy, frightened though fearless, vulnerable but invincible. 

Steve made him feel like that.

The hand fell on the man's side too quickly and his eyes, though staring intently, seemed to have given up. He swiveled on his heels and stared back at the city at their feet. Tony hadn't noticed how close from the edge they were and he felt the urge to catch the man, grab him and hold him tight, to save him or to kidnap him and take him away. Away from this world. Away where they could be who they wanted to be.

Steve's expression was soft and the hint of a smile appeared on his beautiful face. "The view is, indeed, awe-inspiring."

Tony didn't know if it was the soft smile on his lips or the proximity he couldn't stand anymore, or the melancholy in his eyes, or the way he held himself on that edge, so tall and glorious, but he didn't last a second before wrapping his arms around the bulk of him, taking a deep breath of his entrancing smell and resting his head on the muscles of his back. He rubbed his forehead on the worn-out leather of his 1950s vintage jacket, reveling in the impressive size of him, the scent of him mingling with the musky dead skin of his jacket.

Steve's body was warm under him and for a moment, Tony got lost against him, face leaning on his back, forgetting everything else. The man didn't move. He didn't push him away. They just remained like this, entangled, time suspended in the air. 

A truce. Maybe it was just a memory of what they used to be or maybe there was something unfinished between them, feelings lingering.

Tony's hands had sneaked around the slender hips of the blond and crept up along his sides, sliding up his torso while rubbing the fabric of his shirt against the curves and bumps of his muscles. He wanted to grab him, the heat of him, tear his skin off, take his soul away. 

Steve let him. And he let him kiss the nape of his neck and even tilted his head on the side, giving him full access. And Tony wasn't small, but Steve was huge. Well, not that huge, but bigger than him, and taller. And the way he shivered in his arms right now was just glorious. 

It was just a kiss but it meant so much more. He hadn't realized how much he had missed this. He had never realized the man he sometimes met in the darkest of the night in the same sordid and sinful motel room, when everyone was deeply asleep, would shake him up so strongly and turn his life upside down. He knew he wasn't allowed and he knew he didn't deserve him but Tony would take everything he could. He had always gotten what he wanted anyway. Why would things change now?

"I wanna fuck you." He whispered, straight to the point, with a hoarse, masculine voice.

Tony hadn't known he could sound like that. He must be very horny. One might think it was too direct, but Tony had never like beating around the bush. He was pragmatic and logical. He had never been good with words. The inspiring speeches, that wasn't his forte, he'd rather go for it.

Steve had liked his straightforwardness once, but the way his body tensed against him right now seem to tell Tony otherwise. It unsettled him and he lost his momentum for a moment.

The blond gasped though, imperceptibly, and Tony felt his whole body tense at the words and felt a slight tremor in his hips. He should have let it go. If he were decent he would have, but he wasn't a good man. He tightened his embrace and grabbed Steve's hips firmly, possessively. 

"We can't." The detective said, voice stern and inexorable.

Tony whined internally. He dropped his forehead on the bottom of his nape and rubbed his head again, desperately wanting. His hands slipped inside the brown leather jacket. "Why?" He whimpered.

"You know why." Steve answered curtly. "I'm investigating your family."

Tony knew that. He _knew_ that. Why should they mention it now?

"You were before too." He remarked, unable to hide the disappointment in his voice. 

"I didn't who you were then..."

"Liar!" Tony exclaimed. "You knew then, just as much as _I_ knew, just as well as you knew that I didn't call about the case tonight." He paused, taking a deep breath and reveling in his scent. "You're the best detective in your department." He muttered huskily. "Don't pretend you didn't check on me."

"I didn't." Steve answered. Stern and honest and always so confident about his words. Tony had always admired it, his righteousness, his trust and infallible faith in his principles. Tony had never been sure of anything. He was constantly doubting everything, and everyone. It must be so easy being so sure all the time. "But you're right," Steve admitted, "I suspected." He turned his face back, looking for him. Their eyes met, briefly. It was too intense anyway. Steve's blue eyes were always so intense and hard, Tony could never compete. He couldn't win against him. Never had, never would. "Which is why I never tried to know." Steve explained calmly, so honest and straightforward. "That way I still had hope. I still had hope you weren't who you are. I knew if you were, I'd have to end it. So I didn't want to know, because I didn't want it to stop." Tony's heart clenched and he felt a twinge in his chest. Steve's honesty was too much. "We can't see each other anymore." Steve added, this time his voice faltered and for the first time, Tony sensed some vulnerability and hurt in his raspy voice.

"Just because my dad's an alleged criminal?" Tony protested teasingly, tone conceited. "The star-crossed lovers. How very Shakespearian of you."

Tony still had the ardor of a youth, although he was a man now. He thought he would grow out of it but the more he looked at the body of the man in his arms—he perfect body, the hard muscles and the tired features of his face, damaged with age and experience—the more he wanted that man. Inside and out. 

Only twelve years separated them. Twelve years seemed so little and so much at the same time. Tony was supposed to look at hot girls, that was what was expected of him, not pining over a grim and depressed detective. And most of the time Tony would fit the profile, most of the time he would do what was required of him, be it hit on girls or other things. Tony wasn't a good man. Sometimes, late at night, when no-one was looking, he would let himself dream and fantasize about forbidden things, indulge in his perversion, think about dirty things like getting on his knees and get pounded by a detective. He wasn't a good man, he knew it, and despite his young age he had already done enough crimes to make old ladies blush...and spend a life time in prison. He didn't deserve someone like Steve. Steve was inherently good. Steve should stay away from him.

"I know what you're thinking." Steve said with a faint smile. "And you're wrong."

"Oh really? And what am I thinking then, since you're so sure of yourself?"

"I'm not a good person either, Tony." Steve whispered in a sort of desperate tone. Tony startled and unconsciously let go of him, walking back a few steps to look at the man with more perspective. Steve had caught him by surprise and his heart started beating faster while he remained still, disconcerted for a moment. "No-one in this line of work is." Steve continued. "You see so much sordidness. At one point, you stop believing." 

Tony stepped back again and stared at the loneliness and melancholy that emanated from the man's posture. He had stopped leering and for the first time he was actually looking at him and not as his body. At _him,_ at everything he was, at his soul. Steve's soul must be pure even if his body was stained and Tony's heart skipped. This wasn't just sex. This was so much more.

Steve turned on his heels, slowly and faced him, expression jaded. "I should go." He said, expression sad despite his hard features. 

Tony pouted and remained silent. What could he say? He had never been good with words anyway.

The silence lingered between them, growing intense and awkward. Something electric in the air.

Steve had turned him down with words but he had done nothing to free himself from Tony's embrace earlier and Tony regretted letting him go. He wished he could hold him again, tight, so he could capture the essence of him. As if Steve was going to vanish in the air if Tony didn't hold on to him.

Something lewd and dense ran through Steve's blue eyes, making them shine in the dark of the night, and Tony's felt a jolt of electricity arousing his entire body and a sudden wave of warmth spreading.

And now, somehow, his lips were on Steve's, wet and warm and fleshy, and his hands were holding his neck, rubbing his jaw with his thumbs. It was hot and passionate. Eager but restrained. Intense but controlled. Overwhelming. Tony was breathing Steve's breath, swallowing the scent of him, his chest heaving, his breathing short and erratic, accelerating. He was the one who had initiated the kiss but had lost himself in it. He could never win against Steve. Already he felt himself melt in the strong embrace of the man, vanquished by the warmth of his body, by the softness of his tongue, by the skilled fingers touching him delicately.

He was falling ever deeper.

Tony was also the one who ended the kiss. No words were uttered. There was no need. Words would ruin everything. Words forced them to accept the truth. Tony gave him a shy smile and Steve's eyes brightened. Tony's hands slid down his neck and chest and the right one slipped into Steve's circumspectly. He tugged on it, pulling the man toward him and with a tilt of his head, he showed the lounging area set up on the private roof terrace behind them.

Steve followed. Silent. Tony ignored his hard-on. 

Steve's eyes awed silently when he saw the hot tub, adjacent to the pool, and the two flutes of champagne laid on the white-clothed table.

"Take off your clothes." Tony said hoarsely. "The water is warm."

Steve hesitated. Steve was righteous. Tony wasn't. 

He held his hand towards the man. "I wanna take you for a night swim."

Steve chuckled, a shy though quite sarcastic laugh. He looked around, frowning a little, expression wary. "What's all of this, Tony?" He asked with his deep voice that made Tony shiver from head to toe. "Is this a trap?" He wasn't sounding particularly scared though, rather amused in fact.

Tony pouted and felt stupid the next second. He knew he was acting childishly and it made him look like a spoilt brat when what he actually meant to show Steve was how mature and reliable he could be.

"Believe what you want." Tony snapped, upset. He understood why Steve would be suspicious. He had just hoped he would just take his word for it and trust him, even just a little. "But there's no one around."

Steve pouted unconvincedly, eyes flicking everywhere. 

Tony chuckled as well, sounding bitter. His smile was sour when he opened his arms, hands splayed, and swiveled on himself under the staring of the stern man. He was upset but he knew also how to seduce him and he knew the well-fitted dark suit he was wearing tonight would work its magic on the lonely detective.

"Look around." He said with a sarcastic tone.

Steve did look around, searching for any potential danger and looked straight back into Tony's eyes, expression amused. "I don't think this is a good idea." Steve mumbled tiredly. 

Tony's smile died down and he walked a little closer to the tall blond, getting into his personal space. Steve took a deep breath as Tony got closer and Tony glanced up, staring at him. He looked weary and tired, damaged by a tough life and career in the police. His blond hair were turning grey on his temples and his light stubble. Tony felt the urge to touch, to scrape that stubble with his cheeks, to trace the lines of his eye-wrinkles. 

He stared at the marks of age on his skin and in the weariness of his eyes and wondered what Steve's life was like. He wondered what made him look so lonely. How many men had he had in his life? How many men since Tony? Had he had a boyfriend? How many men did he meet in a week? a month? a year? Had he come out at work? Tony doubted so, although he was pretty sure Steve would be honest about things like that. Unlike him. Steve would have probably had a boyfriend and even got married, maybe he would have had adopted had he not chosen this rotten job. He would have been out and proud then. 

As far as Tony was concerned, Steve was his first. That was six years ago. Steve was much more optimistic then, he still had hopes and dreams. Tony was a brat, exuberant and reckless. He had acted on an impulse. He had already known then but six years later he still couldn't accept it. No-one knew about him. And since his first encounter with the hot detective, he had only been with three other men—a one-time thing—but hundreds of women. He liked women. He wasn't always pretending but... None of them were Steve.

He had no idea why he couldn't let go that man. This was all kinds of wrong. Tony was young and attractive and successful. He could have anyone he wanted, anyone younger, more suitable. Someone better that a grim detective in his late thirties. Someone who wasn't trying to bring his family down. But he had Steve under his skin. Truth was, he didn't know the man much. They had met countless times, always in the same sordid motel, but had shared so little and he found he really wanted to get to know him, he _needed_ to.

Only a few inches separated them and Tony gazed up into the soft glimmer of Steve's blue eyes, Steve didn't do anything to push him away so he took his chances and planted a shy, delicate kiss on the line of his jaw.

Steve chuckled, both gratified and annoyed and looked down at him with a gentle expression. "What are you doing?" He asked, shaking his head, slightly exasperated.

"Changing your mind." Tony answered while giving him another peck on the cheek, closer to his plushy bottom lip. 

Steve frowned and looked down at his feet, exasperated hands on his hips. "Don't play games, Tony." He said with a sigh. "I'm tired." 

Tony wasn't able to hide his disappointment and clenched his jaw, staring up at him, searching for a weakness. Steve had plenty. He bit his lips and kept his mouth shut, as he felt his heart race. 

"I'm not playing games." He said with a pout and nodded nonchalantly toward the pool. It's alright. Just get in."

Steve avoided his stare and looked at the pool and the jacuzzi and the buffet table. "What's all of this?" He said with a judgmental tone, arms spread on Tony's little surprise. He had outdone himself with this and it hurt a little to get so little consideration.

He smiled. And looked away, "Oh, I spend all my money on this view." He said, trying to sound indifferent. He forced another smile and grinned proudly, tauntingly, at Steve. "So I could be alone at last with you."

He had wished he could be nonchalant about it and pretend that it didn't matter if Steve stayed or not. He almost did, but even he heard the slight shivering of his voice at the end.

Steve probably heard it. He probably saw it, how vulnerable he really was. Steve saw through him and Tony had found didn't care. If it was Steve, he didn't mind. With Steve he could be vulnerable sometimes, he could be himself. 

Steve's expression was forlorn and powerless. It was acknowledgment and maybe, sadly, acceptance that their situation was impossible. He didn't move an inch and the look in his eyes was heart-wrenching. Tony's stomach churned. He wouldn't give up however.

He stepped back and started walking backward, toward the pool, taking his clothes off slowly, seductively, with the confidence he had always pretended he had. 

A soft blush flushed Steve's cheeks and he looked away to hide it, smiling embarrassedly. When he faced Tony again, he had taken his clothes off and stood naked, half-hard, in front of the man who had fucked him so many times before. 

Steve looked down at his feet, hands on his hips and chuckled, both amused and sad. He shook his head silently.

"What?" Tony asked curtly.

He was twelve years younger. He didn't know how long that excuse would work with Steve but he fully intend to take advantage of that as long as he could. He jumped in the pool, recklessly, seductively and stood out of the water, throwing his hair in the air.

Tony wasn't good with words, but he knew how to use his body to get what he wanted. Charming people was second nature to him. A glimpse of lust crossed Steve's face and for a moment he lost the frown and parted his lips powerlessly. It didn't last long. Steve wouldn't let himself be seduced. 

"What are you doing?" He asked again, while raising one eyebrow, as if he couldn't think of anything else. Or maybe he wasn't very convinced himself about the necessity to refuse Tony, that was what Tony hoped his gentle tone meant, at least.

He laughed and spattered the man. "Just get in."

"I can't." Steve said, pushing his hands down his pockets, shivering a little with the cold breeze of the night.

"Come on." Tony insisted. He was already naked. And ready. So very ready for this.

"I'm gonna go." Steve whispered, unwillingly stepping away. He was walking backwards as if some part of him wanted to stay.

"Wait!" Tony shouted, sounding desperate. "I know that it's late but wait..."

Steve stopped and looked at him questioningly. It was weird. Being naked on that roof, right in the middle of the city, in front of the man he had always wanted. It was both shaming and empowering. He had nothing to lose.

"Please wait, I'll drive you home."

Steve let out a surprised laugh. "I've got my bike."

"Well, I'm not sure you'll be able to ride on the thing when I'm finished with you." Tony teased.

Steve laughed again. It sounded beautiful and relaxing. A truce in the middle of that tense conversation.

"Sure of yourself, are you?" 

Tony grinned. "Always."

"Are you trying to get me to stay or to run for the hills? I wonder." Steve said with a gentle smile, eyes playful.

Tony's smile softened and he took a more serious expression. He was very serious about this. They stared in each other's eyes in silence, easing the tension between them, and Tony bit his lower lip. "Please stay." He said with a raspy voice. "Just stay a little longer and swim with me in the rooftop pool."

Steve frowned again, hands still in his pockets, loose. He didn't move however, he didn't try to leave and Tony knew he had won.

Steve stripping from his clothes was a work of art. Not that he was particularly sexy when he was taking his clothes off. Steve lacked the lusciousness and suave ways that made Tony's charm. He was awkward in his movements, sometimes brutal, but always methodic and serious and Tony loved that part of him. Rediscovering the lines of his body, the softness of his skin and the shape of his muscles, it was a real spectacle.

Steve gasped and rubbed his arms as soon as he got into the water and suddenly, the impressive bulk of him shrunk into an adorable shivering mess. Tony swam to him in a surge of protectiveness and splayed his two hands on his arms, grounding him. He started stroking slowly, reveling in touching all the curves and veins of his triceps with a confident smile. Despite his flirtatious nature, Tony had rarely been the one initiating sex whenever they met. Steve might be a shy, modest and prudish type of guy when it came to seduction but he knew how to be direct and get to the point when needed be. He knew his shit. 

Tonight however, it felt like the role were reversed. Tony was the reassuring one, the experienced one—at least he pretended to be—and he wanted to protect Steve, to make all his doubts and fears go away. He could do this, at least for one night.

Steve's chest started to move heavily, his breathing deep and erratic. His lips parted and the color of his eyes changed, tinted with lust. The shivering stopped and Steve's body was now a furnace under Tony's touch. Tony felt his cock harden and felt Steve tense at the touch of his fingers. Tony stepped closer, until he was only a few inches away from him and slid his hands up his shoulders and his neck and grabbed his face to pull him down for a kiss. Steve lowered his head and let Tony catch his mouth in a hot filthy kiss. He brought his hands up and grabbed both Tony's wrists and squeezed hard but not to make him stop, to keep him here.

Tony let a moan escape his mouth and gasped against Steve's lips. They deepened the kiss and wrapped their arms around each other until their chests touched, not missing an inch of their skins. Tony was rock hard, Steve was too and neither of them felt cold anymore, despite the night breeze.

It was just them, naked in the warmish water, on one of the tallest building in New York City. Alone in the dark of the night. Alone in the world. In that moment it felt like they were alone and everything was possible and Tony wrapped his arms around Steve's neck and tightened his embrace. He entangled his fingers in the short blond hair at the top of his neck and buried his head in the crook of his neck, inhaling a deep breath of his intoxicating smell. Tony had no idea why the musky smell of a man turned him on that much but he was done asking himself stupid questions now. He wanted Steve, more than he had ever wanted anything in his life. He nibbled at the soft skin of his neck and sucked and bit until Steve gasped and loosened his embrace.

He wanted more.

He grabbed the man's face again and started licking his lips, he wanted to eat his mouth, drink his spit, taste his blood. He bit until Steve whimpered and he felt the taste of iron on his tongue. For a moment, he was afraid he'd gone too far but Steve shivered and tightened his embrace, surrounding him with two strong arms. Then he dropped his head on Tony's shoulder, breathing heavily in the crook of his neck, rock hard and grinding against him. Tony scratched the skin of Steve's back and squeezed tighter, wanting to be one with the man. "Dig your nails into my back." He whispered softly in Steve's ear.

Steve did, making him gasp. Tony reveled in the sweet pain and the intensity of their interactions, proof of their lust and desire for each other. Proof they were still here, alone and alive.

Steve sucked his neck until he left a bite mark that everyone would be able to see. Tony's heart skipped and his cock twitched while he thought about the stares he would get, knowing that no-one would ever know who had loved him so passionately. He couldn't help grinning at the idea. He let himself melt into Steve's arms.

Steve always treated him preciously, delicately holding his face and kissing him softly. Tonight too. And Tony was on fire. Each touch of Steve's fingers on him igniting every cell of his body.

The kisses slowed down, their embrace loosened and Tony slumped over Steve's shoulders. "I've missed you." He whispered desperately in the crook Steve's neck and he felt him tense under him.

Steve wriggled himself away from Tony's arms and grabbed his face tenderly, kissing him lovingly. Tony had failed. He had wanted to be strong and protective and now, again, Steve was the one who held him straight. He felt his warm lips on his forehead and felt safe and warm and _small._

"Tony..." Steve whispered with a deep voice. "Please don't do this..."

And already Tony felt him growing distant. He hadn't moved but it felt like he was going away, vanishing from Tony's life, forever.

"I'm not doing anything." Tony defended himself, feeling his heart clench at the thought of losing Steve again.

Steve had stepped back a little and a glimpse of despair ran across his eyes. He was still half hard though and gloriously naked in that pool. Water glistening all over his muscles, glimmering with the artificial light. His hair was falling onto his face, making the look on his face even more desperate. 

"Don't say stuff like that. Things that make me hope. You know we can't happen."

Steve's words were like a stab in his heart but Tony remained still, expression hard on his face. "We happened already." He choked out painfully. He wasn't the one who had cut Steve off from his life, after all.

"That was a mistake. I should have ended things. As soon as I got my suspicions. That was unprofessional of me. You should have too."

Tony lowered his eyes and looked away, clenching his jaw. He felt like crying but crying wasn't something he was allowed to. He had stopped crying a long time ago. When he became a man. When his mother passed away. He wouldn't be childish now.

He swallowed his pain and looked back up into Steve's eyes, expression hard and determined. "It doesn't have to be like this, you know?"

"And how should things be like then? It's not like you'll stop being who you are. It was fun while it lasted but it can never be more. I'll never be able to be with you without looking over my shoulder all the time."

Tony felt his cheeks heat and bit the inside, trying to settle his breathing down. 

"And it's not like I can stop being who I am either." Steve continued, face stern and expression serious.

"We're not that different." Tony mumbled. "We're both men carrying guns. Just on different sides."

"Even if I weren't a cop I could never approve of what you're doing, Tony. It's not about a badge, or a gun. It's about standing for what's right and fighting what's wrong."

"And you think I'm wrong?" 

"What you do is. What your family does is."

That was another stab and Tony felt a tear drip down his cheek. A small teardrop he couldn't hold in and he felt shit about it. He took a deep breath and looked up, avoiding Steve's intense stare.

"That's great to have principles. I hope you choke on them."

Tony glanced at Steve for a short moment, enough to see his jaw clench and rage burning in the blue of his eyes. "I'm just a kid from Brooklyn. I've lost my dad in the war and my mum at the hospital. I struggled all my life. _This_ is all I have. It's my only reason for living."

Each words felt like stabs and Tony's felt his body shake with rage, anger growing in his heart so fast it was almost dizzying. 

"So, this the moment you make me cry over your sad story?" He spat through gritted teeth, clenching his fists. He felt so cold now. The water hostile and aggressive on his soft skin. "Is that the mystery behind all the grim you're constantly carrying around as if you would carry all the world's misery with you. How unoriginal! We've all lost someone, Steve. That shouldn't stop us from wanting to live. You're just a coward. That's what you are. A fucking coward. You hide yourself behind your principles but truth is, you're scared to live."

The angry frown disappeared from Steve's face to leave place to astonishment and confusion and then rage again, but deeper and stronger. 

"And who do you think you are?" He shouted angrily. "Just a spoilt brat who can't even admit he's gay." He walked closer to Tony, eyes threatening and Tony stepped back, scared for a moment, of the brutality of his movements and the intensity of his glare. He wasn't fast enough and soon a strong and powerful hand clutched his neck and pressed softly on his carotid. "You sayin I'm a coward?" Steve spat through gritted teeth. "What about you, uh? Is this really what you wanna do for the rest of your life? Being daddy's dog? You think you understand me? How can you ever understand me. You were born with a silver spoon. You have no fucking clue. So don't fucking pretend. Don't fucking tell me you get it. You think that's easy for me? To make that choice?"

He stopped and let go of Tony's neck. He hadn't meant to hurt but Tony thought his skin would bear the mark of Steve's fingers for a while and contrarily to what Steve had done earlier to mark him, he didn't like the idea of it. Steve was looking slightly ashamed and apologetic, even if anger still lingered in the glow of his pupils and the clenching of his jaw. He was breathing heavily, chest heaving, trying to calm himself down. And so was Tony. Tony already knew that part of Steve, the fierceness and intensity of him, but it had never been turned against him before. And Tony wasn't the kind of guy who let anyone lay a finger on him, unless they'd like to lose that finger. Perhaps Steve saw the fire blazing in his eyes. 

"No," he muttered in a defeated tone. "You can't know what this means..." He smiled bitterly. "Of course you can't." He added. " 'cause you're used to getting everything you want. You're just a spoilt brat."

Tony gritted his teeth and bit the inside of his cheeks, jaw and fists clenched. He took a deep breath, trying to catch his breath. "Fuck you, Steve." He shouted, sounding bitter. "Fuck you! I may get everything I want..." Tony blurted, voice hurt. " _but to what cost?"_ Steve looked at him and maybe saw him for who he was for once, or maybe who he could be. He wasn't the kid who had tried to pick him up clumsily in that lousy bar when they first met anymore. And Tony's heart set ablaze, racing in his chest and spreading fire in his entire body. Both lust and rage combined that he was desperate to control. Who was Steve to him but his only way out of this rotten path written for him, his escape route, his breeze of fresh air? "I may get everything I want," he repeated, out of breath, "but you're the only thing that's come my way for free. And you're the only thing I want."

They stared at each other for moment, silent, while the tension ebbed away. And then Tony wasn't sure what happened but their bodies moved on their own, their mouths joined, pulled to each other like magnets, and suddenly their lips touched and their hands were everywhere, touching every part of their bodies, brushing every inch of their skins and their tongues started fighting and their teeth clinked and Steve's light grey stubble scraped Tony's face and burnt. And their cocks, hard and leaking like nothing had happened, sword-fought like two laser saber, squishing in the water. Tony ground against Steve, wanting to dominate, relishing in the sounds he drew out of him. Steve was moaning against his lips and grabbed his face in his two hands, holding him so preciously it churned his stomach. Tony didn't deserve to be treated preciously.

"I can't live without you." He whispered, words escaping his mouth before he realized what he was saying. He meant it. He meant all of it, but he wasn't allowed to say, because they couldn't be together. They weren't meant for each other. Even if those past few months since Tony had been brought in for interrogation, those months during which Steve had refused all contact with him, Tony had been a ghost of himself. He would never admit it. On his death bed he wouldn't admit it but Steve had changed him.

Steve wrapped his arms around him and held him against his heart, burying his face in the crook of his neck. Tony wouldn't say anything about the way Steve's body was shivering and Steve wouldn't say anything about the wetness of Tony's cheeks. "Make this moment last, please." Tony whispered. "I wanna believe. Just for tonight. I wanna forget." He wrapped his arms around Steve even tighter. "Please talk to me." He begged. "Tell me everything's gonna be fine. Tell me how much I matter to you and tell me this is forever." He could feel Steve's heart beating hard against him and splayed his hand on his chest, slipping his fingers through his hairs, rubbing his own cock in between Steve's legs. "Whisper words into my ears, will you?"

Steve smiled and planted a kiss on Tony's neck, just under his ear, and sent a jolt of electricity up and down his entire body and made him shiver from head to toe.

"Are you cold?" Steve asked worriedly.

"No." Tony answered, voice muffled against the skin of Steve's shoulder. For a second he got lost in Steve's warmth, feeling hot and horny against him but fine with not doing anything about it, to make it last. After a moment when they just cuddled, Tony felt the warmth of Steve's breath against his ear and he brushed his cheek with wet knuckles, splashing the water around them.

"You matter to me, Tony. A lot." He whispered in his ears, making Tony's wish come true. "And I hate that you are who you are. I prayed so hard for my intuition to be a mistake."

Tony hummed in the crook of Steve's neck and slid his hands up Steve's back, rubbing himself against his thigh. "Tell me more."

"I'll remember this. For the rest of my life." Steve continued, sweet-talking into Tony's ears, chuckling warm and ticklish air. "I was dead inside when I met you and you brought me back to life. You ignited a flame in me I thought had died down forever."

Tony let an amused laugh escape. 

"Gosh, Steve." He muttered while chuckling. "You sound decrepit, when you haven't even lived half of your life."

"I thought you wanted me to tell—"

"Shhh." Tony interrupted, while putting a finger on Steve's mouth. He slid his hands up his neck and grabbed his face. "Will you let me take you?" He asked sensually and caught his bottom lip between his teeth, nibbling it a little.

He felt Steve's cock jolted against his stomach. 

"Yes." Steve said with a slightly hesitating tone.

"I'll make love to you, Steve, on that rooftop, as we dissolve into the breath. I'll take care of you, Steve, I promise. I'll make you feel so good." 

Steve didn't answer but he shivered and hugged him with all his strength. 

A few moments later, Tony admired the most beautiful view he had ever paid for. Steve bent over the edge, spread and open. Tony splayed his hands on Steve's hips and grabbed his waist. Steve's hairy hole twitched as if calling for him. He spat on it and rubbed his leaking cock on the rim. He was already about to come and he hadn't even started. He spread the spit on Steve's entrance and knelt down, wanting to taste it. Steve had rimmed him countless times before but he had never tried. He knew how good it felt though and he wanted to make sure it would feel as good for Steve as it felt for him.

Steve wriggled on the rim and let escape soft gasps and muffled whimpers, thighs shaking with pleasure. Tony continued, longer than he thought he would at first, because it was so fucking beautiful he thought he could die now. Steve giving himself to him.

He slipped his cock in as naturally as everything else had been and took Steve gently against the edge of the pool. Steve trembled and moaned softly, letting shy little gasps out and clenching around Tony's cock. Tony came, then and there, and kept going, making Steve shiver.

At some point he turned him on his back and thrust inside him while facing him and Steve's face was flushed, a sweet blush spreading down his chest. His blue eyes darkened with lust were intensely focused on him, entrancing. "You feel so good, Steve." Tony said. "You feel so fucking good. I can't do anything without you. I'm lost without you." It was so intense this moment, him fucking deep and slowly into Steve's and Steve staring at him like he was a god on earth. Tony didn't realize until he felt the tears dripping down his chin that he'd been crying. "You're taking me back to the start." He muttered, voice shivering. "With you I forget who I've been, I'm clean."

Steve straightened up and stretched his hand to grab his face. "Hold on to me, Tony." He whispered reassuringly and kissed him, whimpering in his mouth. He clenched around Tony and came in Tony's hand. 

"I'd like to drown with you." Tony said while coming a second time and collapsed onto Steve's chest.

Steve wrapped a lazy arm around Tony and held him tight, catching his breath. 

Tony was still shaking. 

"We might as well get up and get dry, don't you think?" Steve asked with an amused smile.

This time Tony _was_ cold.

Steve turned his face toward him with a lazy finger on his chin and stole a kiss. He was smiling beautifully, contentedly. "I thought I heard something about champagne and a jacuzzi."

Tony mumbled and managed to straighten himself up. Then he held a hand to Steve to help him up. Tony wasn't a great help but Steve was nice enough to pretend he was.

The skin of their fingers and feet was all wrinkled but they didn't care much. The hot tub felt so good after fucking outside in the breeze of the night. Tony rested his head on the crook of Steve's shoulder and Steve held him tight against him, sipping champagne from his flute.

"Was I your first?" Tony asked, hopeful. 

Steve looked at him sideways, an amused smile on his lips. "I had a life before you, you know. And after."

Tony knew but sulked anyway. "And you like it?"

"I like both."

"Why haven't we done this before then?"

"You never asked for it."

"You could have."

Steve laughed and took another sip.

"Shut up and look around, Tony." He said. "We're on top of the world, drinking champagne and fucking like animals."

Tony chuckled and sounded more bitter than he had intended. He felt his heart clench and the moment pass. Happiness hides its bite 'til the end. It never lasts forever.

"I feel so good when I'm with you." He choked out, feeling nauseous. "And sometimes I think I'd be better off out of this city altogether. But I'll never be able to." He admitted, feeling the tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. "I fucking hate my life, Steve."

Steve didn't answer. He didn't judge. He just stroked his head gently.

"I'm a fucking coward." Tony cried. "And still, I spend all my money on this view. All of this, for you. 'Cause none of that shit matters up here with you."

Steve smiled and finished his drink.

"Shhhhhh." He said softly. "Just relax. And swim. Swim with me. Let me drown with you."

"What?"

Steve got up and rode Tony. He was grinning, something lewd and perverted in his baby-blues. He lowered his head down. "I'll suck your cock." He finally said, whispering sensually.

Only for tonight, Tony thought. Only tonight he could believe and make it last. As long as he could. And swim, and drown, with Steve in the rooftop pool.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, of course, the lyrics of that song remain exclusively the propriety of Josef Salvat and Columbia Records... I do not own anything.


End file.
